She must be psychic

Well, in fact that's exactly what she was. Although I think that's kind of an old fashioned term, like calling a flight attendant a stewardess.

Intuitive counselor, spiritual guide, whatever, yesterday I sat down with a woman to see if she could help me make heads or tails out of what has felt like a seismic shift going on inside me.

I had done this before. I wandered into this place randomly in 2002 when I was at a crossroads professionally. I guess you could call it a store, you know, filled with crystals and books and Buddha statues, but behind the beaded curtain (yes, cliche) there is a small room where spiritual work gets done.

I was noticed that there was a woman who was seeing people that day and I made an appointment immediately.

She seemed to be able to grasp what was ahead of me. Not like a fortune teller, but it just felt like she "knew" things. I walked out of there feeling lighter, purified and calmer. There was a lot said, but I never forgot that the realities that occurred after had been "visualized" by her. I became a believer.

I returned in 2005 after a miscarriage and received the closure I needed and the validation I craved.

Again I went after a particularly painful "break up" with a best friend, and again she comprehended more than I could ever have expressed.

Yesterday I saw a different woman, since the other one no longer worked there. It wasn't like the other times, I didn't feel like she was seeing inside my soul and pulling out what was blocking me, but different isn't always bad.

We talked. I stared into her eyes waiting for something to happen. I don't know, a revelation, transcendence ?

But here's what she said, or at least what I took away.

She agreed, there is a period of transition occurring. And while not all happiness and unicorn kisses, in fact much of it quite painful, it will take me to a place that will fundamentally change how I live my life. THAT I live my life.

She said that the "light" part of ourselves the one we see and show to the world has an equally important counterpart that is in the shadows. It's easy to perceive it as darkness, but it is within that "shadow" part that opportunities for personal growth exist.

It all sounded a bit mumbo jumbo-y to me in the moment. But then she said something that hit the fundamental truth right on the head.

Recently there was a catalyst that lit a spark inside me. It woke me up, made me aware of what I want out of the next part of my life.

I wrote a post last week about what I perceived at the time as a mid-life crisis. But it's not. I realized I needed to find things that make me feel passionate and empowered. To keep from going back to feeling invisible. Something only I can do.

So I turned the idea to throw a dance party into a reality. I have become addicted to boxing (it's hard not to feel powerful when you are hitting things).

The spark was a gift, not a threat.

When I passed through the beaded curtain again I was slightly dissatisfied. I didn't feel purified, or lighter or healed. I felt like I had received words of wisdom, but I guess I expected something more mystical.

And as I walked through the store I glanced to my right. To a card rack, filled with simple cards with simple sayings. All of them went blurry except for one.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

That's what it said. We've all heard it before, but it resonated like a bell within me.

Maybe to make us stronger. Or to teach us compassion. Or for reasons we have yet to understand.

This morning I woke up feeling purified. Calmer. Clear-minded.

Sometimes we all need a nudge, someone to hear us, or perhaps a beaded curtain to pass through.